February 6th, 2012 | No Comments »

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
A Full Moon in your sign brings a matter close to your heart to completion. Your answers will be deeply personal. You’re having talks to understand what you truly feel. Most importantly, in the process of explaining yourself, you come to understand what you truly need.

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When Moses ascended to heaven, the angels protested to G-d: “What is a human being doing amongst us?”

Said He to them: “He has come to receive the Torah.”

Said they to Him: “This esoteric treasure, which was hidden with You for nine hundred and seventy-four generations before the world was created, You wish to give to flesh and blood?… ‘What is man, that You are mindful of him, and the son of man, that You take notice of him? … Place Your glory upon the heavens!’ (Psalms 8:2-5)”

Said G-d to Moses: “Answer them.”

Said Moses: “Master of the Universe! I fear lest they consume me with the breath of their mouths.”

Said G-d: “Hold on to the Throne of Glory, and return them an answer.”

Said Moses: “Master of the Universe! This Torah that You are giving to me, what is written in it? I am the L-rd Your G-d, who has taken you out from the land of Egypt.”

“Have you descended to Egypt?” asked Moses of the angels. “Have you been enslaved to Pharaoh? So why should the Torah be yours?

“What else does it say? You shall have no other gods. Do you dwell amongst idol-worshipping nations? What else does it say? Remember the Shabbat day. Do you work? … What else does it say? Do not swear falsely. Do you do business? What else does it say? Honor your father and your mother. Do you have parents? What else does it say? Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal. Is there jealousy among you? Do you have an evil inclination?”

Straightway the angels conceded to G-d… and each one was moved to befriend Moses and transmit something to him. Even the Angel of Death too confided his secret to him…

(Talmud, Shabbat 88b)

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Philip Deslippe on the Life and Work of William Walker Atkinson~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Thought

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Jesus Religions Views:

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magentism

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Posted in observations
February 1st, 2012 | No Comments »

Rabash, The Social Writings
“You Stand Today, All of You”
Article No. 19, 1984
The interpreters ask about the words, “You stand today, all of you …your heads, your tribes, your
elders and your officers, every man of Israel.” It begins with the plural form, “You” [plural form in
Hebrew], and ends in singular form, “Every man of Israel.” The author of the book, Light and Sun,
explains that by using plural form and singular form, it points to the matter of love of friends. Although
among you are “heads, tribes,” etc., still no one sees greater merit in himself than in any man of Israel.
Instead, everyone is equal in that no one complains about the other. For this reason, from above, too,
they are treated accordingly, and this is why great abundance is imparted below.
It is our way to study everything within one subject. It turns out that a person should take upon
himself the burden of the kingdom of heaven as an ox to the burden and as a donkey to the load, which
are mind and heart. In other words, all of one’s work should be in order to bestow.
Accordingly, if one works in order to bestow and does not wish for any reward in return—except to
serve in the holy work without hoping to be given any addition to what he has—he has no wish even for
additional work. In other words, receiving some knowledge that he is walking on the right path is certainly
a just demand, and yet he relinquishes even that because he wishes to go with his eyes shut and believe
in the creator. And what he can, he does and he is content with his lot.
And he even feels that there are people who have some understanding of the work of the creator,
while he sees that he is completely empty. In other words, many times he feels a good taste in the work,
and at times he feels that he is in a state of “Your heads.” In other words, at times he thinks that now he
has reached a degree where it is impossible that he will ever decline to a state of lowliness, a state where
if he wishes to engage in the work of god, he has to make great efforts to force his body. At that time,
what he does is by compulsion because he has no desire for the work, and the body only wishes to rest
and does not care for anything.
Instead, at that time he feels that he has already come to know for sure that there is nothing else in the
world except to work in order to bestow, and then he certainly finds good taste in the work. And when he
regards his previous states, he cannot understand, now that he is in a state of ascent. Hence, by all
calculations, he decides that now it is impossible that he will ever suffer a decline.
But sometimes, after a day, an hour, or a few minutes, he descends to such a state of lowliness that
he cannot immediately feel that he has fallen from his uplifted state to the “depth of the great abyss.”
Rather, at times, after an hour or two he suddenly sees that he has fallen from the highest level, meaning
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from his previous certainty that he was the strongest man, and he is like any man of Israel, meaning like
an ordinary person. Then he begins to seek advice in his heart, “What should I do now?” “How can I pick
myself up to the state of Gadlut [greatness/ adulthood] that I had before?”
At that time, one should walk on the path of truth—to say, “My current state, being in utter
lowliness, means that I was deliberately thrown out from above to know if I truly wish to do the holy work
in order to bestow, or if I wish to be god’s servant because I find it more rewarding than other things.”
Then, if one can say, “Now I want to work in order to bestow and I do not want to do the holy work
to receive some gratification in the work. Instead, I will settle for doing the work of holiness like any man
of Israel—praying or taking a lesson on the daily portion. And I don’t have time to think with which intent
I study or pray, but I will simply observe the actions without any special intent.” At that time, he will
reenter the holy work because now he wishes to be god’s servant without any preconditions.
This is the meaning of what is written, “You stand today, all of you,” meaning everything you went
through, all the states you have experienced—whether states of Gadlut or states of less than Gadlut,
which were considered intermediate or so. You take all those details and you do not compare one degree
to another because you do not care for any reward, but only for doing the creator’s will. He has
commanded us to observe Mitzvot [commandments] and to study Torah, and this is what we do, like any
common man of Israel. In other words, the state he is in right now is as important to him as when he
thought he was in a state of Gadlut. At that time, “The Lord your god makes with you this day.”
This means that then the creator makes a covenant with him. In other words, precisely when one
accepts His work without any conditions and agrees to do the holy work without any reward, which is
called “unconditional surrender,” this is the time when the creator makes a covenant with him.
Baal HaSulam explained the matter of making a covenant: When two people see that they love each
other, they make a covenant between them that their love will always endure. And he asked, “If they love
each other and understand that this love will never leave them, why this covenant? Why do they make
this covenant, meaning for what purpose?” In other words, what do they gain by this making of a
covenant? Is it only a ritual or is it for some benefit?
He said that the matter of making a covenant is that now they understand that it is in their interest
for each to love the other because of reasons they can now see—that each one feels the other and cares
only for his well-being—so they make a covenant.
And as now neither has any complaints against his friend, or they would not make the covenant,
they tell each other, “It is worthwhile for us to make a covenant once and for all.” In other words, if there
is ever a state where one will have complaints against the other, they will both remember the covenant
that they made when love was revealed between them.
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Similarly, even though they currently do not feel the love as they did then, they still evoke the old
love and do not look at the state they are currently in. Instead, they go back to doing things for each
other. This is the benefit of the covenant. Thus, even when the love that was between them has lost its
fancy, because they made the covenant, they have the strength to reawaken the shining love that they
had before. In this way, they usher each other back into the future.
It follows that making the covenant is for the future. It is like a contract that they sign that they will
not be able to regret when they see that the ties of love are not as they were, that this love gave them
great pleasure while they were doing good to each other, but now that love has been corrupted, they are
powerless and none can do anything for the other.
But if they do wish to do something for their friends, they must consider the making of the covenant
that they had before, and out of that they should rebuild the love. It is like a person who signs a contract
with his friend, and the contract connects them so they cannot part from one another.
It follows that, “You stand today, all of you.” In other words, he thinks of details, “Your heads, your
tribes, your elders and your officers, every man of Israel.” This means that of all the high degrees that he
had, it is now considered for him that he is in a state of “Every man of Israel,” and he assumes that state,
as when he was in a state that he considered good. He says, “Now I do my part, and I agree that the
creator will give me what He wants, and I have no criticism.” At that time, he is rewarded with making a
covenant. In other words, the connection remains forever because the creator made a covenant with him
for all eternity.
According to the above, we should interpret the verse, “The secret things belong to the Lord our god,
but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may do all the words of this
law.” We should understand what this verse comes to tell us. We cannot say that it comes to tell us that
we do not know what is hidden and only the creator knows. We cannot say that because without the
verse, we do not know what is hidden from us. Thus, what does the verse come to tell us?
It is known that there is a thing that is hidden and a thing that is revealed. It means that the active
part of what we do is when we can see whether or not we are doing it. And if the body does not wish to
perform the Mitzva [commandment], there is a tactic—one can force oneself, meaning that he is
compelled to do the Mitzva against his will. It turns out that coercion is relevant with revealed things.
The hidden thing is the intention in the Mitzva. This, one cannot see, meaning what the other one
intends while doing. It is the same with the person himself, the one who acts. He, too, cannot know,
unless he lies to himself while doing. He thinks that he has no other goal and that he is completely
dedicated to the creator. But with the action, called “the revealed part,” it is irrelevant to speak of a
person lying to himself, that he thinks that he is wearing Tefillin (phylacteries) when in truth, it is not
Tefillin. Similarly, a woman cannot lie to herself saying that she lights the Sabbath candles when in fact
she isn’t.
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But with intention, it can be said that one lies to oneself. He thinks that he is working Lishma [for Her
name] when in fact he is entirely in Lo Lishma [not for Her name]. Also, there cannot be coercion
because one cannot coerce one’s thought into thinking what he wants to. Regarding things that belong to
emotion or knowledge, a person is powerless. He cannot force his mind to understand differently than it
does or feel differently than how he feels.
Now we can understand the above matter—that all that is left for us is the practical part. This is
called “The things that are revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may do all the words of
this law.” We are commanded to perform the action, meaning it is the deed that we are commanded to
do, even coercively.
But as for the intention, called “the hidden part,” in that, no man has any view or governance. Thus,
what should we do to keep the hidden part, as well? Here all that one can do is test, meaning examine
himself to see if he is truly doing everything in order to bestow, or whether the body resists the aim to
bestow. He feels that he is removed from it to the extent that there is nothing he can do alone, since
whatever he plans to do, all the tactics to be able to aim in order to bestow, do not help him.
It is about that that the verse comes to tell us that this matter of Lishma, called “the hidden part,”
belongs to the Lord our god. In other words, only the creator can help him, while there is absolutely no
possibility that he himself would realize it. It is not in the hands of man because it is above nature. This is
why the verse says, “The secret things belong to the Lord our god,” meaning that it belongs to Him, that
the creator should provide this force called “to bestow.”
This is why our sages said (Kidushin 30), “Man’s inclination overpowers him every day and seeks to
put him to death, as it is said, ‘The wicked watches the righteous, and seeks to slay him.’ And if the
creator did not help him, he would not overcome it, as it is said, ‘The Lord will not leave him in his hand.’
The matter of seeking to slay him means that it wishes for man to do everything in order to receive,
which is regarded as being separated from the Life of Lives. Naturally, one remains a beast. This is why
our sages said, “The wicked are called ‘dead’ while they are alive.” It turns out that it is called “death”
when his intention is to receive. This is considered separation. To be rewarded with Dvekut [adhesion],
meaning to be granted the strength to bestow—to have such a thing—only the creator can give it to him;
it is not in man’s power to obtain.
This is why our sages said, “Man’s inclination overpowers him every day and seeks to slay him, and
if the creator did not help him, he would not overcome it, as it is said, ‘The Lord will not leave him in his
hand.’” From what we explained, we can understand the verse, “The secret things belong to the Lord our
god, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our sons.”
Thus, only the act is for us to do, but the hidden part is for the Creator to do.
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However, there is still something for us to do about the hidden, so the creator will give us the hidden
part. This follows the rule that everything requires an awakening from below. There is a rule that there is
no light without a Kli [vessel], meaning there is no fulfillment without a deficiency. You cannot insert
anything unless there is a vacancy, and then you put in whatever you want. But if there is no cavity, no
empty place, how can we insert anything?
Therefore, first we should see that we do not have the vessel of bestowal, called “desire to
bestow,” and that this is our light. As we explained in previous articles, our primary reward is to obtain the
desire to bestow, called “Reflected Light,” as it is said, “The whole reward that we hope for is the Reflected
Light” (general Preface to the Tree of Life).
Therefore, if the desire to bestow is called “the light,” then this deficiency, when one sees that he
does not have the power to bestow, is called “a Kli.” He feels that this is what he is missing, meaning he
sees what he is losing by not having this power called “the power of bestowal.” Hence, his deficiency is
built in him according to his sensation. This is called “a Kli” and “a vacancy,” for here—where he lacks the
power of bestowal—there is room for this filling to enter. This is called “the arrival of the light into the Kli.”
However, we should know that receiving this Kli requires a lot of work. We have Kelim [plural of Kli],
called “deficiencies,” which we wish to fill. They are called “Kelim of self-love,” meaning that we wish to
receive fulfillment. These are very important Kelim because they come from the side of the creator, who
created them existence from absence because He wishes to do good to His creations, meaning that He
wishes to give fulfillment. Yet, how is it possible to give fulfillment if there is no vacancy in which to place
the filling? For this reason, He created these Kelim existence from absence to place the delight and
pleasure in them. It turns out that this is the essence of the Kli that the creator created.
However, because this Kli is called “desire to receive,” it wished to have equivalence of form, called
“Dvekut [adhesion] with the creator.” This is why this Kli was disqualified from being a Kli for reception of
the upper abundance. Now there is a need for a new Kli for reception, which dresses in the former Kli,
where only by both—by clothing the will to bestow within the will to receive—will this Kli befit reception.
The previous Kli, called “desire to receive,” came from the Emanator. The lower one has no part in
the work of the desire to receive, although everything comes from the Emanator. Similarly, the second Kli,
called “desire to bestow,” comes only from the Emanator, as well, and the lower one cannot add, just as in
the first Kli, called “desire to receive.”
However, the difference is that the vessel of bestowal must first have a demand from the lower
one, who seeks of the creator to be given the new Kli. This, the first Kli did not have because it came to
him without any awakening on the part of the lower one.

http://edu.kabbalah.info

Posted in observations
January 26th, 2012 | 2 Comments »


‘the neurotic of today is the man of the future’

Um…these folks in the video are incredibly enjoyable to listen to…

just like a big old vibrating…pulsating…knot…ya just got to work it out.

convert…those nippy notes of my thoughts that laugh would have me laugh..out loud in cynical approach…now why would you want that darling self, why? – i wouldn’t, i wouldn’t want it directed at me… and since the time is over, the important information was shared, and the signs have flashed off and on, off and on, off and on… and confirmation in the deep grudge… the joy…is not laughing. is watching…and wishing well. and everyone has the right to take a turn and weave it into something that works for them, satisfaction. me…pleased, with what i have been shown and taught. willfully ignorant, how about willfully on a ride…and being very very patient; and look what transpired; so much goodness. so many things others wanted to point out, which i hope it lead them…me…us… to where they…we…i wanted to be…so far…as i check my effects…patting down my mind; i say…surely, …we made points worth making…attentive affection gained, i know i feel the love. <3 <3 <3 and hoping so many others do too!!!

at this moment: passing thoughts, in my favorite spot...noah sitting to my left reading a graphic novel, josh working his remaining hours away at the egg...the animals sleeping; laying about. it feels good to be home...and not at work, though i had a spectacular day at work...stress free and with plenty of time to admire little2 in his expansive watery world. bear died today, noah took it well. he will be buried in the spring.

To properly aspire.

last weekend we were up till 5am, chatting... i cried...i was crying and she told me to...she said keep it coming; this is us...getting closer...close...i read her my mess of words, space and dotted pause. and our hands are similarly small. it's so simple no frills...no upping the stakes...no risk... just a great friendship...minus a power struggle. gratitude feels good on the inside and looks great on us both. thank you divine.

Josh has decided to leave the egg. Noah and I are very excited for him! This was the very best choice. I am proud of him for stepping outside of his comfort zone. Josh does not handle change well, in the past he would do just about anything to avoid change. His nerves do happen to manifest into body aches,but from what I have seen and witnessed he is seemingly energetic and motivated. Way to go Josh; over coming shit like it's your duty!

I enjoyed it all...even the pain, it was incredible; thirst quenching.

.And that's that.

we have...'rearranged some molecules' i am sure of it, nothing could convince me of anything else. ;-)

awareness...be...in it.

thank you thank you thank you.

Posted in Family, fun, observations, random
January 19th, 2012 | 2 Comments »

Condensate.

Emanate restraint
Space.
Marks.
Here.
Rise…pulse,..
Press…taste.
Drip the coffee…
Waiting, thinking…
Through a sponge of beans.
The moisture.
…And heat,
Makes it…

Condensate.

soft.
Gentle in touch
Reform.

happy, with the, movement…rarely ceasing
laying the ends of your hair with mine
repeatedly mingling…
winding…
tangled
in our
mouths.
…we transfigured
marking the four corners
opening our boundaries
calling the mood
….two in.
one.

in a dry harsh environment full of a torment from the blazing sun and heat… heavens full of potential chant the dancers that dance…dancing…the circling of foot steps. pounding the earth, kicking up red dust…into the air…covering their body…heaven…quench them.
they pray for our mother.
…an imaginary image in my imaginary national geographic magazine., a great one to have around. A homogenous mass of some native culture and the psyches reach towards meaning. through the collective, one such as imagination ….

we are bending the crook of our feet, nightly in our own heaven song ceremony, and we find embrace, where there is…a soft…gentle, reformation, that transfigures…lovingly…
with the pressing of our feet…and the pressing of the palms… wetting…our seals…and…
offering our respects.

about twice a week I feel my spinal fluid drain and fall in squirts down my spine… this was a strange realization on first tingle…and now it is some what common and at times desired…also there is a vibrations effect on these spinal fluid spiriting days. strange i know,

i am in love with our heating blanket…my husband’s feet…..the smell of warmed vanilla extract with cinnamon.

January 11th, 2012 | 4 Comments »

it is really exciting.

observations from my new years day:

two sinks, their religious obedience along with the swooping brushed brass…dwarfed by a 12 foot ceiling, echoing noises…back and forth. children running, a tumble…back and forth…compressed wood in the process of carbon making, throwing energy at us…warm…its flicker…back and forth.

ah…new year anticipation; so lacking the list, not out of absence for there is actual joyful reception, but out of actual missing words, hmm. those.
there was this period of deep contemplation, and breathing exorcises…and some whispering, or quickening in firing.
so here it is.

…in between spread sheets. i had some ideas…

a 2012 list:

the note book list of projects.

collage table

my hair getting ever more grey…

=> the body working out…ya know…heart rate, movement….happening multiple times a week <=

the drawing book 2

um more fun times in josh’s studio…song 3 in all it’s confused glory, me and the synthesizer. i am like 10. it’s for real there.

the groups. moab and fmbg. growth and exploration…prosperity in effort as in, energy transfer…equals rewarding@ the pace of a good time and a nice day to be among folks.

the soul catcher journal.

the dark brown leather bound journal

the poppy journal

the protractor. over and over…measuring and marking…measuring and marking…measuring.

success with noah’s science fair project, complete immersion and full ownership on his part. may i be only a bystander to his exploration display. i want him ready to do things on his own by middle school at least on projects…

more reading time

7 books from my top must reads pile, doable…i read super super slow, if only i could speed read and actually build meaning. to speed up…reading with no lack of retention. ( i wish…want…this would be the way to go!!!)

lots of really good high grade tea…like all the fabulous tea at tevona, only with in my budget…which means being more proactive in seeking out these teas and getting the pot i want…the entire tea set…so i can do the entire thing popper…the entire ceremony. imagine, how beautiful it would be, the memory through movement…and then of course the tea, i would like peach, lavenders….oolong…fruit…earl grey…

bike riding

mountain climbing

more picture taking…

more new ways to see things…

more opportunities to share

more gratitude, more humility, that has come up a lot with me lately in recognizing this.

some specific combination feelings and thought, intuition i guess bridging the two. to go there.. the connect.

that one bass song… and maybe a second but defiantly the one because i told josh i would…and that’s that, so be it.

moments of clarity.

prayer.

candle burning.

craft making

beading.

crochet (i found a super awesome kind teacher)

game night. a bunch more of those, and an ability to make yummy food for everyone and new inspirations for the crock pot.

more new good music

confidence at work. time and diligence. chance to walk to stewards, delicious coffee in the coffee pot. more stream lining, more organizing…

more canned fish…trader joes is coming to Albany so i read.

more opportunities to write creatively in ways that please me.

more days in my jammies.

more car rides with josh and noah.

more josh and me time in new fun ways that i can’t yet comprehend but will discover to be enlightening or bonding.

more ways to be loving to the world. but not feel that in doing so i am being taken advantage…now that is a big one right there.

to make sure i am kinder to my mother.

more cuddle time on the sofa with the family.

more fun times with friends.

more in person musical experiences.

avoiding bars and the bar scene.

nurturing.

healthy boundaries.

wisdom

travel

garden with herbs i use.

healthy zoe

good movies

hikes

bugs…watching them.

cool pictures to cut out

historic sites

bead and breakfast with josh

road trip down south to see josh p.

season two of walking dead

i wish ‘out of egypt’ would have a second season or something…i really liked that series.

cool apps

a warm cozy bed

a dry house

getting the new stove…and a hanging pan rack…new light fixtures in the kitchen would brighten it up.

movie nights on the sofa

more true blood.

more moments with my niece and nephews.

noah being ‘safe’ in how he handles his skate board…that is super important!!!

more cool socks.

at least 2 sewing projects, upstairs pillow covers…and some kind of garment for myself.

amazing backyard fires.

new york city trip.

lovingness over all…

good vibrations and health for my loved ones and friends.

warm loving love love for everyone, everyone is attended to and cared fore, looked over and after… no one is left out… pets included…that’s right zoe… and nate and bear.

friendships that are uplifting, and that foster growth and positivity in both directions.

lots of family time.

night sky watching.

hooping.

dancing.

fire watching.

delicious beer.

and many Saturday mornings filling his tardis mug watching some movie with a blanket. rubbing feet.

lots of bed time foot on foot rubbing one another.

i would like a lot more of what was going on the other night… i think it was last night actually, where i slept awesome, and i felt. great. that be kool, with me. (1.9.12 as the standard)

good circulation and flow….warm warm hands… keep them at a nice comfortable level.

no sleeping appendages…it’s not likely, but who needs those? NEVER.

water, lots of water drinking.

swimming.

safe driving.

cool outfits.

birds singing.

friendships.

positivity.

love.

peace

Posted in Family, fun, observations
December 23rd, 2011 | No Comments »

almost here…it’s here…and it’s over.

it’s been a crazy week! CRAZY…fun, crazy busy, crazy…crazy…and crazy fun.

the lan party went well, the house became a disaster in less than an hour, the bacon cake came and that separated the men from the boys…i mean, the die-hard with lard…or die light with clarity, and apparently my arteries will be clogged by the time i am 40, thanks to bacon cake. which is far more delicious than it sounds…chocolate and fat. it works so well….

and…how about melted chocolate with Crisco and butter…for making candy, more life threatening goodness…

so yep i have gained 5 pounds in two weeks…i have lost mussel tone in my arms, ass and thighs… i do have a little bit of cottage cheese now which will need to disappear by the end of February… so i am looking forward to the gym more than ever… i could have used the stress relief but i just could not motivate myself nor find enough time as well as energy.

we went to NYC last night to see Matisyahu with the steph and sam. it was something i needed more than i was able to bring myself to realize before hand….i was looking forward to it, but in the back of my mind i had this annoying stress with lists eating away at my potential joy, by the time we were in the car rolling towards are destination, it was gone. and i needed to totally forget about what was eating at me in various ways. this was my second time at Webster Hall, i had seen the kills there a few years before, and i loved it, even if a vodka and red bull is $16.00… a watery flavorless beer…$8 bux. so yeah, drink before you get there, pound them down if you have to, bring a flask (they did not search us)… and then buy one and sip it. it’s a commitment, drinking in nyc bar…down with the ship! the venue is cool, old…real old…worn, but still breathing and popping ahaha. Matisyahu, was skinny and beard-less…his voice; a vibratory delicious outreach. divine. steph was beautiful happy, which draws me to her like most who spend time around her, when she has that spark and shares it with her glow, Sam, cool and laid back, protecting his stunning goddess from bigger dudes…yet giving her a lift from behind as she took her chance and got on stage, josh was super awesome…i could stand where i wanted, do just about what ever i wanted with out him being upset, sulking, mad or critical…he seemed happy and loose, which i like. i enjoyed the show…

the rain on the ride home, blew for josh…

Christmas eve is tomorrow. i can’t believe it, why do i keep finding myself in astonishment when i look at the calendar multiple times a day. i have three more gifts to buy and i am heading out into the shopping storm as well as doing some grocery shopping. i would love to get noah and josh over to the immaculate conception cathedral on Christmas eve, because when we lived right near there and I was teaching at the catholic school i had a deep interest in learning more about Catholicisms…and respect for the ceremonies as i sat through week after week of Friday mass with the kids…ah yeah->SO when i lived near the cathedral…that Christmas eve i made duck (for the first time for josh and noah…a oily bird!) and as it baked slowly, noah who was…just about 3 was a bit anxious… so we went for a walk, as we walked past the church it was glowing, i wanted to go in but noah was too young and he would disrupt the service if i put that on him to ‘sit quietly’. this year i am not making duck, i am making Christmas fondue suggested by josh and noah, most likely inspired by Megan’s fondue party we went to a few years ago. …and i am thinking it would be really cool to get over there for the 11:15 Office of Readings and Carols: (which i don’t know what that is…but it sounds cool)… 11:15 is pretty late, i don’t know if i can convince josh of that; but maybe the 5pm one would be better.

i had some pretty cool ideas and thoughts run through my mind about so many things through out this week… about peacefulness… group behavior…shifts in relationships, how people deal with the world…in various ways, but since i did not write them down nor blog about them right away, they feel less put together and even more scattered than normal; hard to believe; i know…scattered, a word so close to my mind at times ahahahahahahaha.

ya know what i loved; the hugging of the homeless…it was happening last night…and she called it PAYING it FORWARD. and there is something to it. ;-)

have a great holiday internet world.

going to go light my yule log and make some jewelry.

peace and blessings

Posted in observations, random