My ode to living among the power of numbers.
if you add each number of 2018 up you get 11...and adding 1 and 1 you get 2. So what!?!
2 an arbitrary number. But numbers have the power of meanings placed upon them by us, with our meaning making minds.
: seeking depth to patterns...seeking hidden answers...seeking wholes and all the parts that make up portions of our life...building our world on the mastery of numbers: 2018 was a 2.
i did a little research into various meanings of 2, things we humans have attributed to the number. I found that people associate the feminine to the number 2. Here is an excerpt from Numerology.com on 2 "In short, the number 2 is a sensual, graceful, loyal partner who can be a bit demanding, but is worth the trouble. And there is another important aspect to the number 2. As the most intuitive of all single-digit numbers, she is drawn to the occult (only the double-digit 11 surpasses her in that department). However, the real value of her intuitive prowess is in the way she interacts with others; it is the true basis of her tact and understanding. Like a good politician, which she can certainly be if needed, she often understands the true motivations of others better than they do, and her clarity and her powers of observation often help others to understand themselves better. On top of her jealousy, her vengeful nature when she feels mistreated and her cruelty when punishing adversaries, the 2 can also be critical and verbally abusive. Her ability to pout and sulk, her bouts of bad temper for trivial reasons and her extended periods of indifference can drive any sane person crazy. On top of that, she is capable of displaying the most illogical reasoning, and a verbal argument can feel like trying to slice water with a knife; nothing you say seems to have any effect. Generally, the best thing to do when a 2 behaves like that is to get out of her way for a while -- and then reappear with a big bouquet of flowers, and smile like nothing ever happened." Here they are talking about a person and the traits of them being a 2. As I can take any aspect of life around me and (as all of us can), shake out meaning that makes sense to me...and apply it to the patterns of my life...i will take the 2 in numerology and lay it over the year...and for shit and giggles apply these personality type traits to the year of 2018, as is the mode summarizing this year for me. my meaning making laid out for you (((enjoy))). 2018 an emotional year. Noah moved out and got his own place. - ah... really, this is the crux of all jaw dropping points of the year for me. me: the mom: who is a bit over zealous in taking charge of situations with pointed narrowing in on the deed of mom-ing... full attention given...where I put all things tiers below...work, friends and all other distractions in these last 3 years, and then suddenly Noah was off and ready to be independent. Which was an emotional tangle in my heart and mind...but in undoing some bindings...and loosening of a few knots, i have been an emotional mother this year. fierce on all fronts, admittedly critical of his timing, knit picky in his use of energy.... i have cried over his absence...been on the call for a ride or help with his new place, defended his choices, doubted my past motions and purity of intentions,. I have sulked in being the reason he did not want to stay. shared my excitement on having an empty nest. Walked naked in the house while dancing wildly in the dead of the night baring my skin under the moon light with no worry of him walking in on me. I have become so free in my availability to others that I can volunteer more time than ever. Repetitive in my conversations with him - constantly making sure he knows I will give all of my new freedom up if he chooses to move back in, always extending the offer if..."you decide you want to save money by living at home". 2018 the year of feminine shakti- if you know her... well then you know that I am saying this year has been wildly wicked in sticky sweetness...and forceful in its' destructive and creative forces. (thank you)
2 - feminine - the shri yantra tattoo... blending the feminine and masculine...the universe inscribed on my right shoulder.
2 as a year "she often understands the true motivations of others better than they do, and her clarity and her powers of observation often help others to understand themselves better" -in my year of the divine feminine walked away from things that were of no service to the ultimate goal of good (good for me, or you). "I see what's going on here" moments...and freeing feeling of zero hard feelings... this is the way the process works. So be it. (thank you).
2 the feminine who is demanding- remember those years when I felt ...left out from exploration. the manifestation in a positive light has been that josh and I have traveled all over the U.S. and I have seen some amazing art
2 feminine is loyalty....- josh and I experienced new things...we went to a music festival and tossed around a weekend of abandon, just the two of us ...(and a bunch of strangers) Josh and I both have experienced the fun fruits in loyalty of service to the unit of "us". In all of our just "us" nights, movie nights, concerts, drives, breweries, entwined us...body quivers...us. 2 feminine Resiliency "extremely resilient force" among group behavior; clicks and petty problem making- something I disappointingly see as feminine attribute. It is an unfortunate mind imprint I have to work through in my own journey on planet earth in this sweet blessing of life. Even when I observe this behavior among men, I see this as one their feminine aspects rearing a sneaky peak into the world. Sad that somehow I attribute this petty group behavior a feminine aspect. I think it has to do with some early years...school yard shit, middle school pecking order, mean girl high school experiences...and just general group behavior as a tool to rally... herd behavior... as we know... it creeps in, innocently, after all this is about the purity of the unity, of making a group purrrr.... and it is hard to notice it in the early stages among the group members because the driving force is connection...the power of unity is so...important to the cohesion. I can't blame anyone for falling short in this realm, myself and others, it happens. The year 2018 had a bit of it here and there, i get a touch of disgust and the disengagement is my form of poultice.
2 - the number of children our birth daughter has now, which is a trip....a real mind and heart trip into other worlds to see the process unfold at their pace. 2- 2018 full of two lab clowns. What is to come 2019?
if you add each number of 2019 up you get 12...and adding 1 and 2 you get 3. To throw together some meaning and weave in my hopes and desires for 2018.... laying numerology down.... right on top of it all. Organizing signals, transmitting wishes...here is my convenience. Back to the Numerology.com website: 2019 the year of 3 "There is perhaps nothing more painful than to watch the sunny, buoyant 3 crash into a vulnerable heap of self-pity. And yet, this can be the best thing ever to happen to this shallow creature, as this sometimes represents a turn-around. Once a 3 finds the motivation and enthusiasm to dig deeper into the realities of life (something that will only happen when it has had to confront itself), its happy surface has the potential to be replaced by the quiet serenity that only true wisdom brings. Such a "transformed" 3, rare as it is, is truly a thing to behold." We will see if 2019 brings more revelations, certainly like all beginnings it will be a year full of lessons, forgiveness, wild moments, and quiet reflections Seems like i will be tested to grow some more...that WE all will, as it should be...so bring it. Transformation is inevitable for us... and we will arrange the patterns -making meaning- las it is layered in the world which is folded over and over...on top of itself.
To me I can't help but think of the trinity when i see the number 3.
3- body, mind, soul.
...a triangle... "Triangles are my favorite shape. 3points where two lines meet" ~ alt j
3 things for the year of 2018 that are goals- love deeply, explore free form expression, embrace new connections.
"If the 3 can ever defy the odds to achieve this rare and amazing state of being, the fact that it has had to travel so far to reach such a height makes this number uniquely qualified to guide and help others reach the same goal"