Early Morning Moment with hot coffee and a head full of dreams, dread, and knowing how it will begin....

Last night I dreamt about my mom, which makes so much sense as yesterday was Mother’s Day, so I had been thinking about her throughout the day. In the dream, she was around 30, her skin was golden, her laugh unmistakable, and her hair was long and still brunette. She was warm and sun-kissed. It was good to see her.

I woke up at 5:00. Josh is away in Boston, so Jet filled in and laid next to me, being snuggly. I had a little bit of dread—I can't place it yet. There is a lot going on this week; it might just be the dread of starting a week where, for multiple days, you have to be "turned on" to high vibrance. It feels misplaced against this bit of hideout in the safe space you love.

I think the dread stems from knowing what this week will ask of me in general. This will be my first time putting on this event, so I can't and won't know all that is to unfold until I am within it—not just staring it down like the path in front of me at the start of an endurance run. I know how I will rise to the occasion, but I am so comfortable right at this very moment that I probably would just say, "Nah, somebody else can take this one."

But I can't, because I already committed 200%. Once this reluctance to go ends, I will find myself in the middle of it, not just contemplating it. Then I will be on my way, restructuring my perspective....and that is how it goes when dealing with a week like this.

It is a beautiful day today. I spent Sunday morning fixing up the second-floor back porch to get it ready for a season of morning coffees and weekend cigar occasions. We had friends over and made wood-fired pizzas in our outdoor pizza oven. Josh did a lot of yard work, and the yard looks really good. I did some yard work—mostly just the dog yard stuff—and mostly that was just pooh picking. It wasn't as fun, but it was rewarding nonetheless once I was finished. It feels too cold still; I would like more 70-degree days. We did manage to have a fire, and I did do some hammocking. I ran a 6-mile trail run on Sunday; it was slow going as we had rain all day on Saturday, so there were muddy parts and slick rocks. It was slow going, but I did finish!

Both Noah and Josh got me flowers, so I have bouquets upstairs and downstairs. I love walking into a room with a beautiful vase of flowers. Noah bought me dinner, and that was yummy. I was in bed so early....and then I dreamed of my mom.

I am looking forward to Josh being home tonight. The rest of the day is about to start, I will join it. Onward.