The Architecture of Peace - A Dialogue on Emotional Sovereignty

It is a slow week—it’s the kind of week I am relieved to find myself in. This last weekend was so much cuddling and connection time. We had a fire, the first of the season, and I hammocked! There were crumbs in bed, and little sips between big sips with skin-sticky contact points. It was one of those epic chill weekends—winter isn't even here anymore and we are happy about it.

Last week ended with some stress and my fears were tested again—because I have them—fears, and they can become obstacles. I want to make the right moves—to stand up and face my own fear—it’s just a bit tangled. There are a lot of feelings placed over me by other people, because they have feelings they use as their weapons—or justifications that are narrowly valid in their echo chambers and self-centered chains- with skewed, tainted ideas. That’s a lot of responsibility to track when it comes to control—or lack of it.

So it’s been a bit of a recognition process, a dialogue: “Oh, not mine... not mine—yours.” It’s been a lot of work to sort through these and those, none of which are mine to own. See, Patience, this is why you won’t allow various aspects of that faulty impulse control to live in your life; why you won’t get behind that snide, soft-release bullying; I won't respect—can't respect it! I just cannot and will not find any way around the larger truth. The way I see it is that, in a perfect world, no one should be forced into a vulnerable corner by another’s emotional whims. That is the world for the lazy, for the uncareful, for the dimwits who siphon off potential and possibility with their sheer idiocy and haphazard care for the life they have been imbued with.

We can create the realities we want for us and for others—to me, you are a true dimwit if you spend so much time wallowing in your dark mires, stirring up the mud and slinging it all over others as your way-zzz - your easy way; the type of power one needs to fling and roll around in the dirt, is the least inspiring type of action just one leg above inaction- enjoy. The real dimwits of this caliber remind me of a booger-eating, pants-shitting, boo-hoo-hoo Humpty Dumpty- types—they are a type stain on my mind. I’m sorry I can’t stop seeing it even when I try extra hard—it’s there. So it will be, until it is written over with time.

I will not accept betrayal as the end point- it can't

sneak into my life with a flare of audacity and entitlement. I won’t sit and watch it...and say nothing—I won’t. I am a doer and I seek the justice of balance—that is important to me. I laid it out very clearly about how I take on protection; when our home was invaded and I was treated like property, I followed the process of justice all the way through. All the way to the end—because that’s what I do when it comes to the boundaries set for personal peace of mind, safety, and the security of my family.

And that’s where I stand currently this week in my architecture of peace with a didialog of my emotional sovereignty - I choose not to stand with the dim witts.