Thursday Thoughts

Josh finally returned from his work trip last night. I missed him a whole bunch; reconnection is always so sweet.

I have been anxious this last week. It’s something I am aware that I need to work through. I look forward to a future where the anxiousness will fade away.

My Thursday thoughts are these: I want to feel safe and have rest. I will give it time for peace to fall in line. I need a protective bubble right now of quiet where no one but the most select few offers soft solace.

I want to move into new growth and creative phases. I want a community that is a safe harbor, and I want mutual respect to mind each other's boundaries of self-development. I know that a lot of my anxiousness is tied into this very emotional year of losing my mom. The fear of loss and where that leaves me causes me anxiousness because I am learning to adjust. There are a lot of unknowns in the world that honestly, in raw true honesty, make me feel fear in a way that is a lesson about why I feel this in the first place. There is no shame in sharing this; it's part of and has always been about seeing it, inspecting it, and learning from it. This is the part of "suffering" I have known before that is like a fire to ignite a change within me.

I want to get to the other side of my feelings. And I want everyone to be at peace. Leave me with my love, in its unique ways, to be. I need the relief of calm.

It's a simple desire.

:The Balancing:

When I feel the "fire" of suffering don't forget Patience what you know to be true- Chesed provides the cooling relief of grace and self-compassion. Let this help me mitigate the "fear of the unknown" by reminding me of the infinite abundance and safety available in the universe. I want to be there with that mindset ♡ sweet divine.

I will focus on Chesed to forgive myself for the days when the anxiety feels heavy. It is the Safe Harbor I seek ♡ sweet divine.

And I want to snuggle into Josh’s skin and smell his smells…and be free to be worry-free.

♡